


A Tedious Marriage

by Darky_Parky



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19758148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darky_Parky/pseuds/Darky_Parky
Summary: After only a year after the apocalypse that wasn't, Anathema and Newt are getting married. And Crowley isn't too happy about it.





	A Tedious Marriage

**Author's Note:**

> I've only been to exactly one wedding in my life, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes

It's been a year since the apocalypse that wasn't has come and gone. Ever since, Adam and the Them have been prospering into surprisingly normal adults. Shadwell has been easing into his new diet that sadly did not consist on consuming an American amount of sugar each day. And Anathema Device on this very day was going to become Anathema Pulsifer. And Crowley could not be any less enthusiastic about it.

It's not that he doesn't like Anathema or Newton, but to see a couple who has only known each other for a year getting married struck a cord. Considering him and Aziraphale's six thousand and one year long stagnated relationship.

However, Aziraphale feels the exact opposite. He is ecstatic about it. He has always supported Anathema and Newton and could not be any more happier about their day.

Aziraphale knocked on the bathroom door. "Hurry up, dear. We want to find a good parking spot."

"We could just miracle one, angel." Crowley busied himself with fixing his tie.

"Fine. I just want to get there early."

Crowley gave up on the bow tie, demeaning it a lost cause before stepping out of the bathroom. "You know, I've never understood why you love weddings so much." 

Aziraphale didn't seem to hear the demon's statement. "Oh, dear, you look lovely." The angel stepped up and began fixing Crowley's tie for him. "I honestly don't know why you don't wear suits more often."

"They're uncomfortable?"

"Like those leather pants you wear all the time aren't." Aziraphale smiled, taking a step back. "You do know everyone at this wedding has seen you without your glasses? You don't have to wear them."

"The wedding is at a public park."

"Nobody will get close."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "When were you so careless?"

"It's not careless. It's. . ."

"Negligent? Incautious? Remiss?"

"Admirative. Your eyes are nice and I think you should show them off more." Crowley did have to admit that he was taken back at Aziraphale's statement, but, he brushed it off. It's only a compliment after all.

"Still does not justify showing them in public."

"Oh, alright." Aziraphale grinned. "Come on, I sense a parking spot near the wedding has just become vacant."

* * *

The Bentley drove on through the streets, uncharacteristically quiet - other than the screeching of its tires. Crowley was unaware his Velvet Underground CD had been in the car for a fortnight. One of the first songs to play being Velvet Underground's Love of My Life and Crowley was not having it. Not after all the talk of love and marriage from Aziraphale and even more yet to come at the wedding itself.

"It's lovely that it's outdoors, isn't it?" Aziraphale asked in an obvious attempt to start a conversation.

"Mhm."

The angel chuckled. "I bet you're glad that it isn't in a church."

"Mhm."

"Oh, that would be an amusing sight. You, hopping down the aisle."

Crowley drew his eyebrows together at the angel's last sentence. "What?"

Aziraphale turned to Crowley, seemingly coming out of a state. "Hm?"

"You said something about me going down the aisle."

"What? Oh, yes, yes. I, er- just thought it an amusing sight of you getting married in a church." Aziraphale said with a nervous smile.

"If I were to get married, why would I ever marry in a church?"

"It's not that I think you would. I just think it's funny is all."

"Yeah, very funny. The priest would have to pronounce us Mr. and Mr. Ash."

"Pardon?"

"What?"

"What was that about the priest pronouncing us?"

"Oh. I uh. . . I just meant in a general sense. Not really you and me. . . ."

"Oh. Yes, of course." The Bentley went quiet again. Crowley sped up. "Are you alright, dear?" Aziraphale asked grasping his seat belt.

"Yeah, why?"

"You just seem to be heating up is all."

"How can you tell?"

"You're melting the steering wheel, Crowley." The angel gazed down at the softening steering wheel. With only a little more time it will become pudding in Crowley's hands.

"I'm fine."

The angel offered a smile. "I know you don't really like going to these things, but I'm sure Anathema and Newton will appreciate it as much as I do."

"Uh-huh." Aziraphale's smile faded.

He took a pause before speaking once again. "Crowley, dear - if you don't mind me asking - why do you hate weddings?"

"I don't hate them."

"Then why have you been so. . . snippy about all of this?"

Crowley took his eyes off the road to turn to Aziraphale. "Snippy?"

"Dear-"

"I am _not_ snippy. I'm the opposite of that. I am _very_ happy for-"

"Crowley-" Crowley let go of the steering wheel, even going so far as resting his arm onto it.

"No, I want you to hear this-"

"Crowley!" The angel grabbed the wheel and steered it away from an unsuspecting citizen. "You nearly ran that man over!" The demon took hold of the steering wheel once again while Aziraphale wiped away the liquid leather from his hands with a handkerchief.

"He shouldn't be crossing the street when I'm driving then." 

"What's gotten you so wound up?"

"Nothing."

"It certainly isn't-" Crowley took a sharp turn, quieting Aziraphale as they approached the park. The demon found a vacant parking spot conveniently near the ceremony.

"We're here. Let's go." The conversation ended there as Crowley got out of the Bentley and went to open the door for Aziraphale.

* * *

An assortment of people all dressed in black and white were setting up the chairs for the ceremony, making sure they were aligned and nice and pretty. Meanwhile, Crowley's envy and frustration only grew more.

A buzzing from his back pocket briefly distracted him from the wedding. He pulled out his phone only to see Anathema calling. He pressed the call button and put it up to his ear.

"Calling for Aziraphale?" Aziraphale was an old fashioned angel, this was fairly evident from the way he acted and dressed. Therefore, he is very behind when it comes to technology. He only has one phone in which he owns, that phone being hooked to the wall. So, he relies on Crowley to take his calls. Not like the demon minds.

"Yep."

He sighed. "Angel!" The angel broke away from a staff member to rush over to the demon.

"Yes, dear?"

"Phone for you." 

"Oh!" Aziraphale took the phone from Crowley and put it up to his ear. "Hello, Anathema, are you- oh. Oh! Oh, alright. You want me to- oh. Yes, yes of course. I'll be there. Alright. Goodbye." Aziraphale handed the demon back his phone. "I have to go. Anathema is having a dress emergency."

"Doesn't she have bridesmaids to help her with that or-"

"She needs a miracle."

"If she needs a miracle you don't have to leave, you could just do it from here."

"She's rather on edge, Crowley. She wants a friend with her."

Crowley stared at Aziraphale for a short moment. "You just want to see the dress, don't you?"

Aziraphale crossed his arms, sticking up his nose. "So what if I do?"

Crowley sighed. "Go on."

The angel grinned. "I promise I'll be back in a jiffy." With that, Aziraphale left to go help Anathema with her dress emergency, leaving Crowley alone. Though, not for long.

"Hey, Mr. Crowley!" The demon turned to see Adam clad in a suit and tie with a pillow under his arm. Crowley smiled and waved at the kid.

Every once in a while Crowley and Aziraphale will lend a helping hand for the kid, seeing as he saved the world and everything. It was usually mundane stuff like bake sales, school projects, teaching Dog to not obliterate mailmen. 

"Looking sharp, Adam."

The kid ran up to him, smiling. "Got any apples?" Every once in a while for the hell of it, Crowley miracled an apple to "tempt" Adam to. Aziraphale doesn't think it's funny.

"Not today, sorry."

"I thought you could summon apples."

"I keep telling you, he doesn't 'summon apples' he pulls them out while you aren't paying attention," spoke Pepper as she approached Adam, dressed in a light pink summer dress and a basket of flower petals in her arms.

"Hello, Pepper, looking very nice in a. . . dress- I thought you didn't like dresses."

"I don't. My parents made me wear this. How come you men get to wear pants while I'm stuck wearing a skirt?"

"If I could trade, I would. This suit is really uncomfortable. But, I don't think you're my size," Adam said. 

Pepper sighed. "I can't wait until society finally decides that women and men can wear whatever they want professionally." Her eyes drifted off over the grounds of the park. "Come on, I think I see Wensleydale and Brian."

"Oh, okay. Bye, Mr. Crowley!" The children ran off as Crowley waved, smiling. When their backs were turned he snapped his fingers and their clothing were swapped.

At least they should be happy at this wedding.

* * *

It didn't take long until the guests finally poured in, mingling with the others, passing time until the ceremony started. Aziraphale soon returned nearing the time of the ceremony. He was glowing. Literally.

"Angel, you might want to turn the brightness down," Crowley whispered. 

"Oh, sorry." The bright light illuminating from the angel dimmed just a bit, revealing more of his gleeful smile. "I'm just- I had a wondrous talk with Anathema while I fixed her dressed. Only a year and she is so deeply in love with Newton despite him being the exact opposite of her. Isn't it so marvelous to be this passionate about a person even if you've only known them for a short time?"

There was something underneath Aziraphale's words that made Crowley suspicious. He didn't exactly know of what.

"What are you getting at, angel?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just saying how much I adore this."

Crowley shrugged. "I never did care much for weddings."

Aziraphale chuckled. "I know, dear." Crowley glared at the angel. "Don't look at me like that. You've been acting. . ." Aziraphale paused, rethinking his words, "you've been acting irritable ever since we left your flat. Don't pretend like you haven't. What is with you and weddings?"

"I just don't like them."

"But, why? Is it the publicity? Traditions? What?"

Crowley narrowed his eyes. "Why do you want to know, angel?"

"Well, it's just- I've known you for over six thousand years and it's one question you have never answered. Naturally, I'm curious."

Crowley, paused, thinking about his words. "It's personal." Aziraphale frowned slightly.

The priest finally arrived and took his place at the altar, notifying people to take their seats. The demon and the angel made their way to the bride's side and sat in the back. Once everyone was sat down and everyone was in their proper place the ceremony begun.

Newt came down the aisle, hooking arms with his mother. He smiled as she planted a kiss on his cheek and went to sit down in the front. Newt then waited anxiously at the altar, hands behind his back for Anathema to finally arrive.

She came in in a black limousine, her bridesmaids having to help her out because of the sheer size of her dress. It was very beautiful, but it must be a pain to walk in.

The Them tossed out handfuls of flower petals down the aisle as Anathema made her way toward the ceremony. Pepper walking proudly with her head held high in her new suit and tie.

Crowley burned away the pink and white petals that managed to land on him as Anathema approached the aisle, the guitarist beginning to play the Bridal March. People near the angel needed to squint to see the bride due to Aziraphale's bright glow. 

Crowley bounced his leg impatiently as he watched the bride and groom exchange their vows. Meanwhile the photographers were trying to find a good angle where there wasn't that mysterious glare in the way.

After the vows, Adam came down the aisle in his pink summer dress with his chin up, smiling proudly as he delivered the rings. Anathema and Newton put on their rings and the priest pronounced them man and wife and Newton kissed the bride.

While people were grinning and even crying Crowley remained the same stone face, wondering if he could possibly skip the reception later.

* * *

Crowley thought that the ceremony was the worst of it. What was really the worst of the photographs. They pile in everyone in this wedding and you have to stand ever so close to a complete stranger and smile until the photographer feels like it's the right time to snap the photo.

But, still, Aziraphale's glee was unwavering. It was almost disturbing how happy he was.

"So, are we finished?" Crowley asked after what had to be the fifth photo.

"Not quite yet, dear. Anathema has yet to throw her bouquet."

Crowley furrowed his eyebrows. "What's so special about a bouquet?"

"Oh, it's a delightful tradition. The bride throws the bouquet and whomever catches is said to be the next one to be married."

"Hmph."

"I think it's nice." Crowley didn't respond he merely stared off, wishing that this wedding would just end. "Would you like to accompany it with me?"

"Aziraphale, why would you want to get married?"

"Well, I-I don't. I just think it's fun is all. Would you like to try it?"

"I'll pass."

"Alright." Aziraphale joined the crowd of women and children around Anathema as she turned her back to them. Crowley stuffed his hands into his pants, watching the crowd wait in anticipation for Anathema to finally toss the bunch of flowers.

It's not like if he caught it it would make any difference. Aziraphale is an angel. An angel that doesn't want anything more than friendship with-

Crowley's train of thought was interrupted by something smacking his chest. On instinct he took his hand out of his pocket and caught it. He looked down and saw that it was bouquet. He looked back to the crowd seeing them staring at him in surprise. 

Aziraphale clapped, grinning and soon the crowd followed his lead. Crowley was tempted to throw it back, but for some reason he didn't want to let it go. The crowd dispersed, going back to what they were doing before as the angel walked up to Crowley.

"I thought you said you didn't want to participate," the angel teased.

"It just. . . fell into my arms."

Aziraphale smiled. "Of course it did."

"Angel, I was ten feet away. Unless Anathema has a better arm than I think how could it have. . . ." Crowley assessed the smug look on Aziraphale's face. "Did you miracle me to catch it?"

Aziraphale's eyes widened. "What? No! No! That's-that's absurd. Why would I ever do that?"

"Why do you want me to get married?" Aziraphale didn't answer. And it finally hit Crowley. An involuntary smile pulled at his lips. "You want _us_ to get married."

"No-"

"You want us to get married," Crowley repeated, looking like a kid on Christmas.

"No-"

" 'Hopping down the aisle', all the excitement about the wedding. You want us to get married."

"I- no, I just-"

"Aziraphale."

"What?"

"Catch." Crowley quickly tossed the bouquet to the angel. Aziraphale caught it. The angel looked at the flowers, then back at the grinning demon.

He smiled. "You know the tradition is for the bride to toss the bouquet."

"We don't play by the rules. Why should we start now?"

Aziraphale paused. "So, does this mean. . . ?"

"Yes, you idiot. I want to marry you."

The bright aura around Aziraphale returned, gaining some attention from the guests of the wedding. "In my defense, you did seem to be against weddings."

"I'm not against weddings. I just didn't like the idea of a couple knowing each other for such a short time getting married and here we are, six thousand and one years, still the same."

"Then why not change it?"

"I didn't know you wanted that."

"You should have talked to me."

"Aziraphale, I'm an idiot. You should know this by now."

"Dear, we're both idiots."

The demon chuckled. "Mr. and Mr. Idiot. Has a ring to it, yeah?"

"Oh, that would look lovely on a welcome mat."

"We would have to get a home for that," Crowley reminded.

"We would have to get married for that."

"Suppose that's fair." The demon outstretched his hand to the angel. "What do you say, angel? Could I tempt you to marrying me?"

Aziraphale paused, pursing his lips together, giving Crowley anxiety. "Only if we get a proper proposal."

Crowley relaxed, smiling. "Of course."

Aziraphale gladly took Crowley's hand, grinning. "Temptation accomplished."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Comments and criticisms are welcome always!


End file.
